5 Tips on Handling Post-Holiday Food Guilt
This time of year can be difficult. This could be a result of toxic family dynamics, the experience of grief and loss, or even due to a change in eating and exercise habits. Maybe you’ve been carrying these anxieties since Thanksgiving, and with the passing of Christmas and a New Year, your thoughts and feelings have caught up with you. Specifically on the topic of eating disorder recovery, there are often a lot of feelings around shame, negative self-worth, and guilt at this time of year. On one hand, the holiday season promotes over-consumption—material, nutritional, and social. On the other hand, holidays can be lonely and isolating for some. These experiences can promote us feeling as though we must fix our behaviour and change ourselves for the better (“new year, new me!”). So how do we challenge our post-holiday body image and guilt?
Acknowledge the pleasures you’ve experienced over the holidays—even the small stuff. Even through our grief and food guilt, we can often find moments of relaxation.
Practice radical self-acceptance and forgiveness. So you ate more than you planned? So you exercised less than you intended? What positive experiences were you having instead of food and body control? Allow yourself to appreciate these experiences. More so, forgive yourself for feeling guilty or ashamed for releasing control. These are feelings you’ve likely carried for a long time, so it is no surprise than they sneak up from time-to-time.
Find a support system and be honest with them and yourself. If this isn’t feasible, try journaling your thoughts and feelings. Share your feelings of guilt and shame around food and exercise. Tell your friend, your partner, or even your therapist about the anxiety-provoked behaviour that might come as a result of the holidays. Perhaps you feel more inclined to increase control over your food restriction, consumption, or exercise. This is your eating disorder speaking. This is your eating disorder trying to pass destructive eating/exercise habits off as “balance”. Talk about your grief with someone you trust. Usually your behaviours are just ways of coping—this isn’t your fault.
Practice mindfulness. This is the piece where you challenge your negative thoughts and find a way to cope with the uncomfortable-ness, guilt, and shame. Remember that negative thoughts are not fact. Imagine a negative thought as a passing cloud; it exists, you see it, you watch it pass.
Explore some positive memories about yourself and encourage positive self-talk. For example, your eating disorder might encourage your fear of weight gain, negative body image, or food/exercise control. Redirect yourself to explore holiday experiences that promoted calmness, and relaxation. Remind yourself that these feelings are possible, and that you can achieve a lifestyle centered around them, rather than anxiety and control.
Here’s an example:
Negative Eating Disorder Thought: “Your eating was out of control over the holidays. You’ve gained weight.”
More Helpful Thought: “I want to eat whatever enables me to feel satisfied. I want to be at whatever weight allows me to live without guilt, fear, shame, or anxiety. Life is about so much more than my weight.”
Holidays may still be difficult. Your journey is not always linear. I see you, and I hope that the only “new you” in the new year is centered around self-acceptance, self-love, and self-empowerment.